How Bunny Tracks Was Created
by Tiny1217
Summary: LeBeau gets a little help in the ice cream business from a group of FanFiction writers-and meets several other people who intend to "help" along the way!
1. Chapter 1

_This story came from an idea I had one day to use several Hogan's Heroes FanFiction authors as characters in a story. Although Snooky-9093 told me later about similar stories (the "Fanfiction Court" series) I had never read any of the FanFiction Court stories when I originally came up with this idea._

 _All jokes in here come either from noting what authors like to write about or from conversations I had with FanFiction-ers on_ Forum XIIIc _or the_ Hogan's Heroes Teen Fans _forum. I did my best to make it so that the jokes are funny to everyone, but if for some reason they don't make sense to you...rest assured it will probably be quite funny to another reader who knows what I'm talking about!_

 _This story takes place using the plot from the middle of my poem, "_ Le Lapin Bleu _" (which was originally inspired by a paragraph written by the wonderful Hogan's Heroes Fanfiction writer, Abracadebra.) I know it's not the most conventional setting for an HH story, but I just couldn't resist.:)_

 _So, if you haven't already, I recommend you read "_ Le Lapin Bleu" _for more complete understanding of this story. But just to refresh your memory: LeBeau (now that the war has ended) through a twist of events, is now in LeMars, Iowa, U.S.A., working for the Blue Bunny ice cream company. This story takes place before his marriage to Mary Lou._

 _All authors featured in this story have granted permission for their names to be used._

 _And as always, I own nothing, nothing! (Hogan's Heroes or the Blue Bunny company.)_

* * *

 **"LEBEAU!"** Someone was yelling quite vehemently in the Production Room of the Blue Bunny Company.

"Uhh...yesss, Mr. Brown?" replied Louis LeBeau, realizing that it was the executive manager, Mr. Brown, that was yelling.

"LeBeau, you have proven to be one of the best workers we have here."

"Why thank y-"

"Which is why I need you to do something big for us."

"How big?" said LeBeau.

"I want you to come up with a new kind of ice cream-something that will be unusual, tasty, and a best-seller."

LeBeau stood silent for a moment, shocked by this sudden decision. "But...how will I do that?"

"I have a group of people coming to help you. They'll Fanfictioners that write stories for the website, FanFiction. net!"

"Do they know anything about ice cream?" asked LeBeau skeptically.

"Nope," replied Mr. Brown. " "But they're very eager to help you."

* * *

 _How am I supposed to get anywhere this way?_ LeBeau thought.

In the Ice Cream Testing Room a whole crowd of the promised FanFictioners were gathered. Many of them were teen girls, so the chatter was endless.

 _Well, now's as good as time to start as any_ , thought LeBeau.

"Now," LeBeau said, clearing his throat. "As you know, all of you are here to assist me in developing a new kind of ice cream. Does anyone have any suggestions?"

There was a lull in the chatter while everyone contemplated this.

"Well, I think we should start with thinking about some of the things most people like," said Snooky-9093. "I would suggest common things-chocolate and peanut butter, maybe?"

"Peanut butter? But, peanut butter is not as common in Europe. Not as many people would like it there," said Konarciq.

"Well, if we can't use peanut butter, how about some using some nougat chunks to add flavor?" LeBeau suggested.

"You're thinking about asking a nudist to help us?" Kamkats shouted over the din.

"Not a nudist, nougat! It's a food!"

"Hmm, if only we had some help to solve this problem," said LeBeau. "I think we should call..."

"The Rat Patrol!" Sgt. Moffit shouted.

"Are you kidding? There aren't any deserts in Iowa. We need to call the A-Team, of course," said Crazy FM.

"Wait!" yelled LeBeau. "What I was going to say is, I think we should call my old friend Marya about this problem and..."

"Ooooh! Isn't she Russian? I love Russians! And Russia, and Russian culture, and the Russian language, and..." interjected ShireandCollie.

"I think this is a job for Oskar Danzig, Germany's great master of disguises." interjected Konarciq.

"Nonsense," said LittleMissSpitfire, one of the youngest of the FanFiction girls. "Who could be better than CHUCK NORRIS? Why, he's from Texas! He can solve any problem anyone..."

"Oh NO. _NOT_ CHUCK NORRIS _again_ , LittleMissSpitfire," sighed AllTrekkedUp.

The girls and women debated who should help them for a little while longer, when suddenly, they heard a clunk and a yelp from behind one of the counters!

* * *

 _Ahh, don't you just love cliffhangers? [Evil laugh] :) Sorry if this chapter was kind of short. Tune in next time to find out what was making the noise, and how LeBeau and the FanFiction-er gang figure out the final recipe of Bunny Tracks!_

 _If you are a FanFiction writer and would like to be feature_ _d in the next chapter, let me know! And please let me know what you thought of this story!_


	2. Chapter 2

**"SCHULTZ! YOU DUMBKOPF! GET OFF ME!"**

The eyes of the entire Blue Bunny Ice Cream Testing Room shifted to where two men were hiding-or rather, attempting to hide-behind a counter. For some reason, they seemed familiar...

"Colonel Klink, and-and-and...Schultz?" LeBeau said in shocked surprise. "What...why are you in America? What is Schultz doing here with you? What are you doing in this _room_?"

"We...um...we, we..."

"Shut up, Schultz!" crabbed Klink. "If you weren't so dumb, we wouldn't be in Iowa in the first place!"

"What are you doing here?" repeated LeBeau.

"Well, you see, we are...uh, we are..."

"Oh, just admit it, Schultz," said Klink, rolling his eyes.

"Well, the truth is...the truth is, we were trying to travel to a resort in Florida named Riverside, but...we messed something up...uh, our tickets"

"WE?!"

"Okay... _I_ messed something up, and we ended up in Riverside, Iowa. Then, we heard about LeBeau developing a new flavor of ice cream here at the Blue Bunny factory, so we..."

"WE?! Are you crazy? I would never want to...oh, just keep going," moaned Klink.

"I mean, _I_ wanted to come here, so I could try the new flavor of ice cream. The way I look at it, since we are in Iowa anyway, we might as well try some of the food."

LeBeau and the others in the room simply rolled their eyes with disbelief.

* * *

LeBeau just shook his head and sighed. "What are they even doing in America?" he asked Atarah Derek, one of his taste testers.

"I don't know," she replied. "But I do know that it seems Klink was in the klink for war crimes," said Atarah Derek. "Apparently, prisoners reported being "tortured" by Klink's violin. That caused the Allies some confusion for awhile because the prisoners reported it was his violin playing-not anything physical-that was torture. The Allies also found something in his possession that looked like a bomb*-although he claimed he got it from one of the prisoners. Also, they found a confusing device** in Sgt. Schultz's possession which required investigation."

LeBeau glance over to where the massive former sergeant and the cowering former colonel were standing.

"Fellow ice cream enthusiasts," he began, "I think I might have an idea."

* * *

 _*An MP3 player; see the story "Front Lines" by CollieandShire._

 _**An eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher (German hard-boiled-egg-opening device); see the story "The Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher" by konarciq._

 _Obviously, this story is a little far fetched. But hopefully you are having fun reading it. After all, the whole concept of Hogan't Heroes is outrageous, right?_

 _I apologize for the long delay in publishing the second chapter. I was hoping to add more to it, but seeing that it has been 11 months since I published the first, I decided to publish this and add more later. I also apologize for the rather blunt chapter 1. Many thanks to konarciq for pointing out the too-quick-introductions of my first chapter! Sometimes we can be so blind to our own mistakes..._

 _Also, for those of you who I promised to include, I will feature you in a future chapter._


End file.
